For many months after the death of my little girl, in November of 1950, when the miraculous vision and the church records coincided, I told the story to many people. They all wanted to listen.

But, after awhile, like Coleridge’s Ancient Mariner, I grew exhausted. I began to leave things out.

I still felt, however, the tremendous impulse to tell it. I was impelled to tell it, for I could not hold it within me. I wanted to help others believe as I had been shown how to believe, particularly parents.

When I was granted, quite suddenly, a voice scholarship at the Music Academy of the West in Santa Barbara, California, with the great artists John Charles Thomas and Madame Lotte Lehmann, in the summer of 1951, I rode out on the Atchison, Topeka and Santa Fe and returned by the Northwest Passage on the Milwaukee Road. The train company kindly rerouted my ticket.

In Seattle, Washington, I had a sister, Celeste, whose husband is Dr. Morton E. Bassen. He arranged for me to tell the story into a dictaphone, and he had his secretary type it. He tested me for extrasensory perception at the same time. He is interested in ESP, as many people are today. Nothing significant was found.

Thus the twenty-two pages, the nucleus of a book, suddenly were there in my hands. From this, all the writing has stemmed and has grown into three separate books, the first one completed being Linda.

Eleanor B. Wasserman

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Grieving After the Death of Your Baby
Author: Jenni Thomas and Nancy Kohner
Publisher: Available from The Child Bereavement Trust
ISBN: 0952166151
Price: £7.50
A book about grief after the death of a baby, through miscarriage or perinatal death. It shows the many different ways parents have found to express their feelings and remember their baby. There are sections for siblings, grandparents and if the death occurred along time ago when little was offered to parents. (This book features families from the video “When Our Baby Died”).

Just My Reflection – Helping Parents to do Things Their Way When Their Baby Dies
Author: Sister Frances Dominica
Publisher: Darton Longman and Todd
ISBN: 0232522111
Price: £12.95
There can be no tragedy greater than the death of a child. For those closet to the child everything seems to be beyond their control. Yet there are many choices, which must be made, and these need not be the prerogative of the doctor, pastor or funeral director, or indeed of anyone else other than the child’s parents and family.
In this book, Sister Frances Dominica draws on her experience as director of Helen House to suggest practical ways for the bereaved family to exercise these choices at the time of death, and find comfort in expressing love for their child to the very last.

When a Baby Dies
Author: Nancy Kohner and Alix Henley
Publisher: Routledge
ISBN: 0415252768
Price: £10.99
In this book, parents who have lost a baby tell their stories. They speak about what happened, how they felt, how others have helped them and how they helped themselves. Using letters from and interviews with many bereaved parents, Nancy Kohner and Alix Henley have written a book that offers understanding of what it means to lose a baby and the grief that follows. When a Baby Dies also contains valuable information about why a baby dies, hospital practices, the process of grieving, sources of support, and the care parents need in future pregnancies.

Brief Lives
Author: Christine Moulder
Publisher: The National Childbirth Trust
ISBN: 1870129911
Price: £4.99
Brief Lives is an anthology of parent’s writings about their experience of the death of their baby.

Empty Cradle, Broken Heart
Author: Deborah L Davis
Publisher: Fulcrum Publishing
ISBN: 1555913024
Price: £10.99
This revised and expanded edition of Empty Cradle, Broken Heart offers reassurance to parents who struggle with anger, guilt and despair after such tragedy. Deborah Davis encourages grieving and makes suggestions for coping. Added to this edition is new information on issues such as the death of one or more babies from a multiple birth, pregnancy interruption and the questioning of aggressive medical intervention. There is also a special chapter for fathers as well as a chapter on "protective parenting" to help anxious parents enjoy their precious living children. Doctors, nurses, relatives, friends and parents facing infant loss will find support and reassurance in this gentle guide.

Help, Comfort and Hope After Losing Your Baby in Pregnancy or the First Year
Author: Hannah Lothrop
Publisher: Da Capo Press
ISBN: 0738209651
Price: £15.99
For parents and caregivers alike, a wise and tender guide to coping with the loss of a baby. Through her own experience with miscarriage as well as through the voices of other parents who have suffered the devastation of their baby's death, psychologist Hannah Lothrop guides parents through the experience of bereavement, from shock and disbelief to renewal and growth. This warm, insightful book also provides specific information for caregivers: hospital staff, clergy, relatives, or counsellors. Thoughtful questions throughout help readers assess their emotions and identify their needs, and an extensive list of resources provides additional sources of support.

Losing a Baby
Author: Sarah Ewing
Publisher: Sheldon Press
ISBN: 0859699285
Price: £7.99
This book is for those parents coping with the death of a young child. It's written for the parents of babies who die before the age of two. It also covers babies born prematurely who might have lived, but not early miscarriages. This book covers: The first few days; Practicalities (arranging the funeral etc); Coming to terms with the death; Coping as a couple; What to tell your other children; Dealing with the outside world; Getting counselling and support; Traditional remedies and complementary therapies; Moving on; Resources.

Living with Leo
Author: Mario Di Clemente
Publisher: Bosun Available from SANDS www.uk-sands.org
ISBN: 0954693205
Price: £9.99
Leonardo Di Clemente was born on 27 th January 2003 and died the following day. Leo's father, Mario, has written movingly of his experience of prospective fatherhood and the distress of bereavement. Twelve letters written over a year, from a father to his son, tell the story of Mario's life with Leo: of the excitement and anticipation, the grief and loss, and perhaps most important of all, the emergence of strength and hope.
The letters are intensely personal and yet universal too, and will strike a chord with any parent who has had to endure the devastating death of a baby.
For more information see the 'Living with Leo' website.

Fathers Feel Too
Author: Andrew Don
Publisher: Bosun Available from SANDS www.uk-sands.org
ISBN: 0954693205
Price: £9.99
When Andrew Don's baby Lara Jean died at five months in the womb, the hospital consultant sent his wife a condolence letter which didn't mention him. Andrew felt like a non-person.
He writes, "Lara Jean was my baby, too. I'd read the books and seen the movie. I was prepared for fully-fledged fatherhood and had signed up for the full deal." But Andrew felt his intense grief was not taken seriously, that he was expected to take it in his stride.
Seven years on he turned his experience into a book telling the stories of 10 men who have lost babies either during pregnancy, at birth or during the first year of life.
"I wanted to do something specially for men, many of whom still think society requires them to have a stiff upper lip and hold it all together for their partner. Women are encouraged to 'let it all out'. Men, less so. I wanted to tell them, it's okay to cry, it's fine to head-butt the wall, you're allowed to give yourself space to crumble – yes, men are allowed to feel, too."

Miscarriage: Women’s Experiences and Needs
Author: Christine Moulder
Publisher: Routledge
ISBN: 0415254892
Price: £9.99
This sympathetic and helpful book explores the many different ways in which women physically experience miscarriage and emotionally react to it. Every aspect of miscarriage is covered, including difficult issues that are often avoided. The book also provides good practical guidelines for professionals, based on what women themselves say they find helpful.

The Bereaved Parent
Author: Harriet Sarnoff Schiff
Publisher: Souvenir Press Ltd
ISBN: 0285648918
Price: £6.99
Having lost her own 10 year old after major surgery, Harriet Sarnoff-Schiff developed, by trial and error, a way of coping with the bereavement. She offers this guide to the many parents who have to deal with tragic loss and the necessary bereavement.

Shadows Soft Around His Name
Author: Ann Holloway
Publisher: Available from The Compassionate Friends www.tcf.org.uk
Price: £2.99
A collection of poems written by a mother during the two years after the death of her 18 year old son in a car crash, moving from the tormented early days of grief to the calmer times as she learns to live without her son.

Losing a Child: Explorations in Grief
Author: Linda Hurcombe
Publisher: Sheldon Press
ISBN: 0859698866
Price: £7.99
This book gives an understanding of how grieving for a child can affect every member of the family, and the relationships between the surviving members. It goes on to explain the different types of support available, and how they can be accessed. A special chapter deals with sudden or violent death.

A Heartbeat Away
Author: Flappy Lane-Fox
Publisher: The Child Bereavement Trust
ISBN: 095216616X
Price: £10.00 (inc p+p)
The first part of this book charts Flappy Lane-Fox’s journey from the isolation of grief and loss through to the first renewal of hope, following the death of her son, Harry, in a car accident, aged just 24.
The second part of the book is an anthology of writings on the themes of ‘Grief, Bereavement and Loss’ and ‘Hope, Humour and Love’.

Living When a Loved One has Died
Author: Earl A. Grollman
Publisher: Beacon Press
ISBN: 0285633198
Price: £9.00
Written in easy to understand language, this book walks the reader through the grieving process, offering advice and support for those attempting to come to terms with the death of a loved one.

Handbook for Mortals: Guidance for People Facing Serious Illness
Author: Joanne Lynn and Joan Harold
Publisher: Oxford University Press
ISBN: 0195116623
Price: £14.99
Any one person suffering from an illness or condition will react to it differently and cope with it in a different way. Some will look at it as living with an illness, while others will regard their situation as dying from an illness. No-one but that person can truly know how much control the condition actually has over their lives, and learning to come to terms with it, whether you are the person suffering or caring, can be a very traumatic time. It is a book certainly worth reading if you, or someone you know, is undergoing long-term treatment for a serious illness, and helps to view difficult situations in a more positive light.
Included are case studies of people who have experienced these feelings, and inspirational quotes--many from the sufferers themselves--to offer hope and guidance, which gives the book a comforting touch. --Louise Coyle

Surviving the Death of a Sibling: Living Through Grief When an Adult Brother or Sister Dies
Author: T J Wray
Publisher: Crown Publishing Group
ISBN: 0609809806
Price: £8.99
When T.J. Wray lost her 43-year-old brother, her grief was deep and enduring and, she soon discovered, not fully acknowledged. Despite the longevity of adult sibling relationships, surviving siblings are often made to feel as if their grief is somehow unwarranted. After all, when an adult sibling dies, he or she often leaves behind parents, a spouse, and even children-all of whom suffer a more socially recognized type of loss.

The Lone Twin – Understanding Twin Bereavement and Loss
Author: J. Woodward
Publisher: Free Assoc. Books Ltd / Cruse Bereavement Care
ISBN: 1853433748
Price: £15.99
This text takes the reader through the closeness of being a twin, including its negative aspects and their need to be different to one another. But what happens when twins are separated, especially by death? The text examines death and bereavement of twins, including the parental attitudes to the surviving twin, the surviving twin's guilt, coping, bereavement in childhood and adulthood. The book also covers the psychological effects in later life for children who lost their twin at birth. Throughout, the book is illustrated by the words of lone twins themselves.

Next to you: Caron’s Courage Remembered by her Mother Gloria Hunniford
Author: Gloria Hunniford
Publisher: Michael Joseph Ltd.
ISBN: 0718148428
Price: £17.99
A mother’s story charting her daughter’s illness, from first diagnosis to her death seven years later and its affects upon the family.

A Special Scar: The Experiences of People Bereaved by Suicide
Author: A. Wertheimer
Publisher: Routledge in association with The Compassionate Friends
ISBN: 0415220270
Price: £17.99
Written and researched by a bereaved sibling, this book covers the losses of siblings, parents, children and friends.

In the Wake of Suicide: Stories of the People Left Behind
Author: Victoria Alexander
Publisher: Jossey Bass Wiley
ISBN: 0787940526
Price: £12.50
Breathtaking stories of incredible power for anyone struggling to find the meaning in the suicidal death of a loved one--and for all readers seeking writing that moves and inspires. After author Victoria Alexander's mother took her life, she spent the next ten years collecting stories from people, like herself, who have walked through one of life's most difficult journeys. The result is a beautifully written book of powerful, spellbinding stories told by those who were left behind--parents, children, spouses, lovers, friends, and colleagues. In the Wake of Suicide offers survivors the understanding, compassion, and hope they need to guide them on their own path in the wake of this most painful loss.

An Empty Chair: Living in the Wake of a Sibling's Suicide
Author: Sarah Swan Miller
Publisher: iUniverse, Incorporated
ISBN: 0595095232
Price: £12.99
The accounts of siblings' experiences in An Empty Chair are based on interviews with more than 30 people from all over the United States, as well as the author Sara Swan Miller's own experience of losing a sister to suicide.
Just as sibling relationships are varied and complex, so the feelings and experiences of sibling suicide survivors run a long and complex gamut from deep grief, to anger, to guilt, to relief. Often these feelings are intermixed. The survivors are often bewildered by the complexity of their feelings, including reactions that may seem shameful or inappropriate. These moving accounts will help other sibling survivors of sibling suicide see that they are not alone. No matter what their feelings and reactions are, there are others who have shared them.

Widow to Widow: Thoughtful, Practical Ideas for Rebuilding Your Life
Author: Genevieve Davis Ginsburg
Publisher: Da Capo Press
ISBN: 0738209961
Price: £15.99
A compassionate guide to enduring the death of a husband and learning to carry on. In this remarkably useful guide, widow, author, and therapist Genevieve Davis Ginsburg offers fellow widows-as well as their family and friends-sage advice for coping with the loss of a husband. From learning to travel and eat alone to creating new routines to surviving the holidays and anniversaries that reopen emotional wounds, Widow to Widow walks readers through the challenges of widowhood and encourages them on their path to building a new life

My Book About Our Baby Who Died
Author: Lynda Weiss
Publisher: Greenfield Publishing on behalf of The Child Bereavement Trust
ISBN: 0952332833
Price: £5.00
Age Range: 5 – 12 years
A workbook for children when a baby brother or sister dies at, or, soon after, birth. It aims to guide parents and find ways to encourage their children to express their feelings. This title is available from The Child Bereavement Trust.

This is About Me
Author: Lynda Weiss and Jenni Thomas
Publisher: Greenfield Publishing on behalf of The Child Bereavement Trust
ISBN: 095233285X
Price: £5.00
Age Range: 4 to 11 years
This work book uses simple drawings and text to help someone with a life limiting illness talk to children about their feelings, symptoms, treatments and what will happen when they die.

My Book About Me
Author: Sally Harrison and Lynda Weiss
Publisher: Greenfield Publishing on behalf of The Child Bereavement Trust
ISBN: 0952332825
Price: £5.00
Age Range: 4 to 11 years
This work book aims to help children with a life limithing illness to talk through their feelings, symptoms and treatments.

Grief and Bereavement - Understanding Children
Author: Anne Couldrick
Publisher: Sobell Publications available from the Child Bereavement Trust
ISBN: 0951753711
Price: £2.50
When a child’s parents dies, the very person he turns to most is vulnerable and hurting. Death, unfortunately, does not often occur when we are prepared, and yet the grief stricken parent must deal not only with their own feelings, but those of their children.
This booklet attempts in simple, straightforward terms, to address the many questions that arise for the bereaved parent.

Responding to Children Bereaved by Sudden Death
Author: Jenni Thomas OBE and Ann Chalmers
Publisher: The Child Bereavement Trust
ISBN: N/A
Price: £2.50
This booklet provides helpful information for parents, carers and professionals when a child is bereaved by sudden, violent or traumatic death. It has received a BMA Patient Information Award.

Caring for Bereaved Children
Author: M. Bending
Publisher: Available from Cruse Bereavement Care
ISBN: 0900321067
Price: £2.00
A booklet by a Cruse counsellor to help parents, relatives, teachers and others to understand a child’s grief following a death, with advice on what to expect and how best to help.

When Your Child Loses a Loved One
Author: T. Huntley
Publisher: Medical Publications
ISBN: 0806642629
Price: £2.75
Talking with a grieving child can leave parents at a loss for words. The author presents the guidance parents need to help their children grieve. The book explains how children of different ages understand death, how they grieve and what steps help them come to understand and live with their loss.

Without You: Children and Young People Growing Up with Loss and its Effects
Author: Tamar Granot
Publisher: Jessica Kingsley Publishers
ISBN: 1843102978
Price: £17.95
Adults often believe that children are quick to overcome and forget loss, but there is evidence that children are affected by the memory and impact of loss throughout their lives, and especially during the years that they grow-up. In this sympathetic book, Tamar Granot explains the immediate and long-term affects of loss on children and adolescents. She describes how loss is experienced at different ages, explains the significant consequences it can have at each stage of the children’s development and the effects it might have on the development of the personality.

Talking About Death
Author: Earl A. Grollman
Publisher: Beacon Press
ISBN: 0807023639
Price: £9.99
This guide to helping children cope with death includes an illustrated, read-along story, and discusses coping with a child's anger, denial, or guilt, and how to discuss funerals, cemeteries, and grief.

Grief Encounter - A workbook to encourage conversations about loss between children and adults
Author: Shelley Gilbert
Publisher: NCB Publications available at www.griefencounter.com
ISBN: 1904787215
Price: £9.99
Age Range: 8-15 yearsThe aim of this book is to encourage conversations between adults and bereaved children about death and loss. It is aimed at bereaved children, young people and their families. The focus is on losing a parent, but the forgotten mouners could benefit too: siblings, grandchildren, friends, anyone touched by bereavement.

A Child’s Grief
Author: Julie Stokes, Diana Crossley and Liz Sturgeon
Publisher: Winston’s Wish www.winstonswish.org.uk
ISBN: 0953912361
Price: £4.50
This booklet is designed to be a helpful tool for adults who are supporting children through a bereavement. It covers the range of issues that may affect a child when an important person dies, both immediately and in the longer term. Practical suggestions and ideas for activities are offered as well as suggested further reading and where to find support.

Children Also Grieve
Author: Linda Goldman
Publisher: Jessica Kingsley
ISBN: 1843108089
Price: £15.99
"Children Also Grieve" is an imaginative resource, fully illustrated with colour photographs, that offers support and reassurance to children coming to terms with the loss of a close friend or relative and to adults who are supporting them through their bereavement. The combination of narrative and interactive memory book in the first part of the book, is designed to be read and worked through by children. The story tells of the experiences of Henry, the dog of a family whose grandfather has died. During Henry's progress through the different stages of bereavement, he learns strategies for coping with his grief. At various stages of the story, Goldman provides readers with the opportunity to share their own reactions to loss through words and pictures, using specific prompt questions that encourage the exploration of different facets of grief. The second part includes a list of useful vocabulary, to help children express their feelings about bereavement, a bibliography of other useful resources for both children and adults, and a section that will help adults to understand and aid children throughout the grief process. This last section also explains the approach taken in the story, details typical responses to bereavement, and discusses useful ways in which adults can discuss and share grief with children. This book is an invaluable tool for bereaved children and those who care for them.

Angel Catcher
Author: Kathleen M Elder
Publisher: Chronicle Books
ISBN: 0811817318
Price: £17.99
After the death of her son Dan, Kathy Eldon and her daughter Amy created a special book dedicated to all he meant to them. Angel Catcher, a guided journal for people who have lost someone close, gives to others what Kathy and Amy discovered during the years after Dan's death. Its pages are filled with beautiful quotations and original art, but mostly it offers space--to record memories, paste photographs, or draw reminders of the loved one.

As Big As It Gets
Author: Julie Stokes and Diana Crossley
Publisher: Winston’s Wish Publication www.winstonswish.org.uk
ISBN: 0953912329
Price: £4.50
This booklet aims to help families cope with the serious illness of a parent or child. It provides a range of ideas for parents and carers so that they may feel more able to explain to their children what is happening. The booklet also includes some suggestions about what parents might say to children and how to offer support. The message throughout is that although life can be very different and difficult when someone is faced with a life-threatening illness, families can learn to cope with the uncertainties and stresses of their lives.

When Someone Very Special Dies
Author: Marge Heegaaard
Publisher: Woodland Press, Minneapolis
ISBN: 0962050202
Price: £5.99
This book was designed to teach the basic concepts of death and help children understand and express the many feelings they have when someone special dies. This title seeks to increase children’s communication and develop their coping skills as they illustrate their books with their personal story.

When Someone Has A Very Serious Illness
Author: Marge Heegaard
Publisher: Smallwood Publishing
ISBN: 0962050245
Price: £6.50
Age Range: 5 to 12 years
This book aims to help families communicate and evaluate a child’s understanding and feelings about family change while teaching basic concepts of illness and healthy coping skills.

Beyond the Rough Rock
Author: Diana Crossley & Julie Stokes
Publisher: Winston’s Wish Publication www.winstonswish.org.uk
ISBN: 0953912337
Price: £4.50
This practical information book supports parents in supporting their children following a death by suicide. It is full of practical information and advice, and looks at ways in which the death can be explained to children.

But I Didn't Say Goodbye: For Parents and Professionals Helping Child Suicide Survivors
Author: Barbara Rubel
Publisher: Griefwork Center www.griefworkcenter.com
ISBN: 1892906007
A book for parents & professionals helping children bereaved by suicide. The hands-on book benefits those who want to learn how to help a child after a sudden loss. The power of this book comes from the most frequently asked questions a bereaved child asks, and honest, respectful, age-appropriate answers from caring adults.

After A Suicide
Publisher: The Dougy Centre www.dougy.org
ISBN: 1890534064
Price: $12.95
In this hands-on, interactive workbook, children who have been exposed to a suicide can learn from other grieving children. The workbook includes drawing activities, puzzles, stories, advice from other kids and helpful suggestions for how to navigate the grief process after a suicide death. Age Range: 5-12 years.

After A Murder
Publisher: The Dougy Centre www.dougy.org
ISBN: 1890534072
Price: $12.95
Through the stories, thoughts and feelings of other kids who have experienced a murder, this hands-on workbook allows children to see that they are not alone in their feelings and experiences. The workbook includes drawing activities, puzzles and word games to help explain confusing elements specific to a murder, such as the police, media and legal system.
Age Range 5-12 years.

 

 
 
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