Grief is the universal reaction to loss. It is afflictive and stressful, but also natural, and incumbent. Bereavement is the period after a loss, during which grief is experienced and mourning occurs. The time spent during the period of bereavement depends on how attached the person was to the deceased, and how much time was spent to anticipate the loss. There are no right or wrong reactions to death. Reactions and sensibility can change from day to day. Over time, the emotional swings will lessen in intensity as you learn to adapt to your changed circumstances, but to begin with it can be hard. You might wish to avoid such difficult feelings, like shock, disbelief, guilt, regret, injustice, anger, loneliness and depression but for the process of healing to occur, the pain has to be experienced and expressed. These are perceivable reactions to the bereavement process. They will lessen and eventually disappear, given time, support and sympathy.

Most of us within ourselves have greater reserves of strength than we are aware of. Mostly we don't need to call upon them, but when we grieve we do. There may be times when you feel that it is all too much and that you can't cope - but with these inner resources you will.

• Exercise uses up excess energy and it's also a way of expressing some of the frustration and aggression you might be feeling.
• Many people find music has the power to get through to us in a way that nothing else can.
• Get it off your chest. It brings relief and helps you clarify and understand what has been going round and round in your head. It also helps to counteract feelings of isolation.
• Take good care of yourself. Get the sleep and rest that you need. You may feel that there's no point, but it will help.
• Within reason, follow your feelings and reactions. If you want to be alone, or be with people, then do that. Acceptance allows your feelings to be expressed and understood - an important part of the healing process.

After the initial shock, for most people the change is usually bit-by-bit, but over time you will feel less submerged and bemused by the loss. This is not a betrayal and it does not mean that you love them any less. People, living or dead, do not cease to exist for you when you stop thinking about them. You will always have your memories of the times you spent with them. Nothing can take that away from you.

In time you will be able to give your attention and emotions to others and begin to get on with your life. As you gradually pass this phase of grief, life will slowly begin to feel significant and gratifying once more. There will be times, though, when you are taken by surprise - a piece of music or a place may remind you of the person who has passed away and you will find yourself flooded by grief all over again. This, too, will lessen in time and you might find yourself re-evaluating your priorities, values, beliefs, hopes, aspirations, and friendships.